Yet more thinking
I’m considering quitting The BBS outright. I don’t do anything. At all. I barely post, ASBN has been dead for months and I’ve had no obligation to moderate the forums since my demotion from super moderator, what with the section I retained some semblance of control over being mostly quiet. When I say “quitting The BBS”, I also include the chan. At various times in the past few months I’ve detected what I think is a malicious undercurrent – I kept getting the sneaking suspicion that people really took severe issues with me being there. One chan regular I’ve genuinely upset in the past, so I could understand if they were one of the perpetrators, but they aren’t. Instead, it’s people who I considered my friends. People who recently have projected nothing but negativity and hate in my direction.
The last time I had this feeling, I was still with Kelly. Now for those of you who didn’t know, the main way we communicated in the last two to three months was through IRC. That was probably one of the many reasons the relationship failed, but that’s for another time. Now, however, I don’t need to stay in touch with her. If anything, I don’t think she wants me to be – that’s the impression I got most recently. So, what is there to stop me leaving? A promise of friendship? There are perhaps two or three regulars who I consider friends who aren’t a part of this hate campaign, for lack of a better word, and it’d be a shame to not speak to them again, but even so my relationships with the other forum members have never been very deep.
So yeah, basically I think most of the chan hates me, and that they’ve decided to make me feel like shit. Because, y’know, it’s not like I’ve had to deal with anything particularly Earth-shattering or life-changing in the past two weeks or so. OH WAIT. Yeah. Classy, guys. Real classy. Way to kick a guy when he’s down. There’s very little keeping me at The BBS, and that’s a damn shame.
I can quite positively say that no-one hates you, Michael. At least none of the regulars on the chan hate you. There also is no hate campaign, and no-one is being mean to you on purpose. Granted, some of them may be a little displeased with some of your behaviour as of late, and thus act coldly towards you, which is why I imagine you would think you’re being hated.
No-one hates you, Michael. You have just been incredibly cold to us lately. This is simply a case of your own behaviour coming back to you.
For one example, something you might not remember at all, the other day I mentioned that my mum had been in the hospital. Instead of, say, asking if she was fine or otherwise paying some kind of attention to that mention, you talked about laundry. Okay, so I was a little offended, but I thought maybe you hadn’t seen me mention that. So, I mentioned it again. Still nothing. More recently, you also ragequit for no reason any of us could detect.
I understand that you’re going through a rough time right now, but also that it’s not my fault. If you feel like shit, you have to either mention it to someone or just suck it up. We can’t tell how you feel just by a text-based medium. Besides, frankly, you feeling bad is still no reason to act cold towards me or anyone else. I have tried to be as nice and considerate to you as possible, especially since you said that you don’t want the breakup mentioned on the channel at all, but recently I’ve been feeling as if you don’t actually give a damn about me or anything I have to say unless it’s useful to you. I’m sure you don’t really think like that, but you have to acknowledge this is how your behaviour makes me feel like.
Many people would be sad if you left. No-one hates you. If you stop acting like you hate us, no-one will ever hate you, either.